A great one to start the new year :

Police whack giant snow penis

New Windsor – What, some might ask Jessica Sherer, is with the giant snow penis she built on her boyfriend’s lawn this week?As everyone knows, phallic displays were central to Viking winter solstice celebrations of fertility and rebirth. Yeah. So what.

And readers of this paper surely know that phallic rituals were as much a part of the Hopi Indian winter festivals as the Hawk dance.

But down on Quassaick Avenue, around the corner from the New Windsor Elementary School, the 6-foot tall, anatomically correct, finely detailed penis raised some questions Monday.

<“We got some calls that people thought it was offensive,” said New Windsor police Chief Michael Biasotti. “We assumed it was some kids who did it.”

Officers found no one home. Assuming the snow sculpture was more prank than nod to Christmas’ pagan roots, the police knocked it down. Beat it down with shovels, actually.

Even Christwire shows a slight sense of humour by using the words grip and penis in the same sentence whilst, of course, having a totally different view of reality than everybody else (emphasis mine) :

Gay Snow Penis Controversy Grips Small Indiana Town

“Vile”. “Repulsive”. “Disgusting”. These are the only words shocked and overwhelmed townspeople in Lafayette, Indiana, can muster after a band of homosexual terrorists have unleashed the unsightly horror of snow penises upon their town.

It was just another December for residents on North 7th Street in Lafayette. The fresh snowfall that had fallen the past week made for a merry white Christmas and great, fun activity for schoolchildren on holiday break.

While families were enjoying the annual snowy feature of nature, however, something dark loomed within North 7th street. A plan, so devious, it would cause one mother to faint in the snow and have to be rushed to the local hospital ER due to hypothermia. Another family has vowed to never let their children outside, before checking the street, on a snowy day, again.

Two gays on the street, instead of sculpting snowmen or snow angels like normal people, sculpted two, giant snow penises with full genitalia features.

Whatever they smoke at Christwire it must be seriously strong shit or perhaps they just forgot to take their medication.